- A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
- There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
- There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
- If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
- 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
- It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
- 'Jaw-P'? means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom'?
- People actually grow and eat okra.
- 'Fixinto' is one word. It means 'I'm fixing to do that'.
- There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
- Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
- Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you'.
- The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
- You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
- You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH 'em.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
- All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
- You know what a 'DAWG' is.
- You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.
- You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony's, Tabasco and ketchup.
- The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for college football, local high school sports and motor sports, and gossip.
- You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
- You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.
- You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
- Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World'.
- You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.
- Fried catfish is the other white meat.
- We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive dag-nabbit.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Sunday Funnies: Things I Learned (Lernt) in the South
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